#Ethan Dolan X Reader
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ruewrote · 2 years ago
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𝑅𝑈𝐸𝑊𝑅𝑂𝑇𝐸'𝑆 𝑁𝐴𝑉𝐼𝐺𝐴𝑇𝐼𝑂𝑁.
hi, im ruby! 19. she/her. this is my blog for fics.
[ ABOUT THIS BLOG ]
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LATEST POSTS:
a quiet pull ( ryan lucan )
in your corner ( evan buckley )
you know you’re on my mind ( chloe price )
exactly what i needed ( mike munroe )
spin the bottle ( josh washington )
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MASTERLISTS:
▸ outer banks
▸ until dawn
▸ evan buckley
▸ life is strange
▸ stiles stilinski
more
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@ruerecs is my fic rec blog
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dolansarebae · 1 year ago
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So happy for them tbh🥹🫶🏻
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ruerecs · 1 year ago
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i need new fics of my favourite hotties 😔
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whorefordean · 1 year ago
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misc masterlist (discontinued)
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a/n: i no longer write for these people. there is no chance i will ever write for these people again, though i still have all the love for them!
dolan twins
grayson dolan
choose me | one | two
adopt me
just tell them
when we were eighteen
stargazing
wasted
plate swap
studying
stolen glances
online
rate
love lullabies
lipstick
ethan dolan
stay the night
road trip gone wrong
lover
5 seconds of summer
calum hood
tour
don't go
secret love song
luke hemmings
you know me too well
celebrities
tom holland
concerts
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shadesofsturniolo · 5 months ago
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telling my kids this is the sister squad
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elitegrayson · 7 months ago
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Grayson putting his enemy, Y/N, to bed after he found her drunk. She’s all smiley and ask him to stay the night to cuddle together. They’ve never touched but seeing her in bed made him starstruck
i loveeee your mind, you asked and so you shall receive. i hope you like it!
Featuring: Grayson x reader
You had what seemed to be the worst week of your life. Schoolwork was piling up, and you weren’t doing the best in your classes. You were having car trouble this week, and it cost you an arm and a leg to get it all fixed. Not to mention you’re at this club with your "friend,” and it only took you 30 minutes to realize she left with her boyfriend. It also took you 30 minutes to realize that they were your ride, so now you don’t know how the hell you’re getting home. You felt like a third wheel the whole night anyway, but it didn’t matter. You just wanted to have a good time, or at least try to.
“God damnit,"  you whispered to yourself while checking the Lyft prices. They all seemed to be $50–80 dollars, money you weren’t trying to spend at the moment. The club was closing soon, and you were a drink away from being laid out on the floor. You ignored those thoughts, got one last shot, and got back on the dance floor.
People were soon certain to leave, but you were still trying to get the best out of the shot you took. You probably looked crazy dancing by yourself, but you didn’t care until you saw a familiar face coming towards you.
“Y/N?” He said it took you a few seconds to realize who this face was. Of course, it just had to be him.
Grayson Dolan.
You and him were never cool. Even as kids, you guys were always bickering. He thinks he’s all that, and only certain girls get to be with him. As if it’s a privilege.
No, it’s more like a punishment, and you feel sorry for every bimbo that has crossed his path.
“W-what? What are you even doing here?” You slurred angrily, inching a little bit closer just to see if it was really him.
"Yeah, I’m not too happy to see your face either, but what? A guy like me can’t be out and about.” He smirked.
“I never said all that; all I’m saying is—" You stopped, feeling your mouth get watery. You know this all too well, and soon you were throwing up everything you had that night.
A few people noticed, and a man shouted, "Aw, nah! Get her out of here. Now I have to be the one to clean that shit up!” Grayson immediately snapped back, saying, “Fuck off, man, I got her. You work at a nightclub; I’m sure this isn’t your first time seeing vomit.”
You started to lose balance, but Grayson caught you. Your eyes were watery, and the acid taste left in your mouth made you want to vomit again. "C'mon, Y/N, let’s get out of here. They are about to close.” He grabbed you by the waist and guided you to the door.
"Bleh, I hate throwing up.” You mumbled, walking out.
“Who doesn’t?” He chuckled, still holding on to you tightly.
“I dunno, I just want to get this taste out of my mouth as soon as I can.” You couldn’t tell what was worse—the fact that you threw up in public or the fact that Grayson was taking you home. He doesn’t even like you, nor do you like him.
Those lyft prices aren’t looking too bad right now.
Soon enough, he arrives at your apartment. "Okay, Y/N, we are at your place.” Grayson says, putting the car in the park. Somehow, the drive back home made your body feel like a noodle. You knew you would have trouble just making it to the front door. As embarrassing as this already is, you needed him to carry you.
"C'mon, get up; we need to get you inside.” He said this, unbuckling his seatbelt and yours. “Mm can’t move. I need you to carry me.” You moaned softly, sticking your arms out, hoping he’d do what you requested.
“You’re kidding, right? Are you so drunk you can’t even walk? Not even to the steps?” He replied, trying to see if you were serious or not. Grayson thought it was kind of cute to see you need him, because you did.
God knows what would’ve happened if he hadn’t seen you at the club. Deep down, he’s a good guy and a good “friend” to you, even if you don’t remember this in the morning.
You just nodded your head slightly, and he sighed, but agreed. “Yayyy!” you cheered as he got out of the car, coming to your side to open up the door. You lifted your arms out again as he picked you up in bridal style. You wrapped your arms around him and rested your head on his neck. God, he smelled amazing, you thought.
He was thinking the same thing in his mind, getting a whiff of your vanilla perfume from your hair, which the wind brought to his nose. “Don’t forget my purse; the key is in there, along with my lip combo. Please make sure my purse is closed. I lost it once, and I cannot lose it again—" He cut you off, already getting your key out.
"Yeah, yeah, princess, I know what to do.” He huffed, opening up your door and closing it behind him.
"Okay, smartass, well, my room is upstairs; did you know that?” You snapped back at him, pulling away from his neck and giving him a look.
He didn’t say anything in response, and he made his way upstairs to your room. He laid you down on your bed and took off your shoes. "Alright, well, I did my part. You made it back safely, so I’m going to head out.” Grayson announced, looking around your room to see if anything else needed to be done.
You laid there and started giggling and smiling, rubbing what was left of your mascara that was soon to be around your eyes. Grayson scanned your body, seeing how pretty your boobs sat in your tight black top. The further you laid back, the more your shirt rose, giving him a glimpse of your belly piercing. Your torso and legs looked perfect in your jean skirt, which had a slit on the left side that showed your upper thigh. He was mesmerized, but no words left his mouth.
You didn’t notice him taking all of your beauty in, but you did notice he was still here. “Will you stay and cuddle with me, Grayson?” You blurted out, still lying down but turning to the side to face him. You don’t know why you asked, but it felt right.
"Oh, I would, but I uh...” He stumbled over his words, still distracted by your body. He couldn’t find the words to say. In that moment, he thought you looked beautiful.
You gazed at him with glossy eyes, waiting for a response. "Okay, fine, but just for a little while and only because you’re drunk.” He gave in and took off his shoes and jacket, placing them off to the side.
You scooted over slightly so he could have some room next to you. He placed his arm around you while you snuggled up under him. This is definitely not how you thought your night was going to end, and neither did he.
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lov3bug · 4 months ago
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I am ugly crying over this rn I’m so happy for them🥹
They were my YouTubers in middle school and I genuinely stopped watching yt for a long time after they quit bc no one made me laugh like they did until I found the triplets tbh🥹🫶
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flowery-mess · 8 months ago
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I'm posting new headcanon tonight yayy🥳
Please send in your requests hihi
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ruenvy · 11 months ago
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𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐀𝐍 𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐒 𝐆𝐈𝐅𝐒.
© ruenvy
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spookysanta · 7 months ago
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i miss writing :/
and yes i’ve been lurking
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ruewrote · 11 months ago
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𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑝𝑒𝑜𝑝𝑙𝑒/𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑚𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑡.
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▸ rami malek
▸ the walking dead
▸ surviving summer
▸ evan buckley
▸ boku no hero academia
▸ spiderman
▸ red dead redemption
▸ dolan twins
▸ shameless
▸ wally clark
▸ the quarry
▸ top gun
▸ the hunger games
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dolansarebae · 1 year ago
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~slay🍓🍰~
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ruerecs · 3 months ago
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im really missing them and might start writing for them, MAYBE! depends how this poll does. i'd love some dt mutuals tho!! <3
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chvrrydolan · 1 year ago
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are dolan girls doing okay? 🤨
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3amcloudss · 2 years ago
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So, apparently Tumblr says that Grayson Dolan is my ‘Tumblr crush’ Bahahahahha 
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flowery-mess · 9 months ago
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My love💗 first of all thank you for this update while you're going through hard times, we appreciate it and I hope you're doing okay💗
And where to start now... my Leena and Noah🥹 I loved this story since the first chapter and now we're here, with full ass family and engagement, who would've thought. I loved reading about those two maturing together, fighting for each other and becoming healthy people for each other. It was an amazing story and I'm glad I could be there from the very first chapter!💗
Btw I will never forget about that part where Leena talked about her dad buying her place next to her dead mother at a fucking graveyard, that was really memorable line😂💗
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(Photo credit to @darling-millicent-aubrey’s post)
Fragmented
Noah Sebastian x OFC
We made it. We fucking made it. The end of Leena and Noah’s story. It’s been a rollercoaster. The special, surreal story that this has become blows me away. To think that I started this with a broken heart and a silhouette of an idea.
Thank you to my regular, dedicated readers. Thank you to those who gave me feedback of any kind. Thank you to the friends I’ve made because of this story. For those of you who checked on me during this difficult time of my life.
Every last one of you reading this. Thank you. After writing notes: I'M NOT CRYING MY EYES ARE SWEATING. For the love of God, listen to the title song the entire time. I hope you like it. :)
Warnings: Fucking marshmallow fluff, my guy
Taglist: @flowery-mess @lma1986 @myownthoughts12 @poisongirl616 @missduffsblog @reidsblessing @malerieee @jilliemiw86 @thisbicc @xx-like-a-villian-xx @diabolicdiatonics
Part 12 - If I’m There
Two weeks. We had two weeks. Were we trying to figure it out? No. Were we talking about it? Nope. Were we acting as if the last six months had almost never happened?
Pretty much.
Mileena and Addison had all but moved back home with me, their things making their way back little by little every day.
‘I don’t want to annoy Lauren, her and Nick are living together now and she needs space!'
‘I just need a few things, I promise I’m not planning on crowding you.’
‘I can always move back into my place once the tenants leave. It’s no big issue.’
Yeah, I shot that one down pretty quick.
I was constantly reminding Leena that my girls being home made me happier than I had been all year, but she continued to be insecure and refused to believe me. Despite my reassurances, she still insisted that she would not assume I would forgive her for what she put us through this year, and that she still had making up to do.
Interesting perspective, given I had long forgiven her, and was now enjoying my days more than ever. I could write music with a clear head, I ate dinner with my daughter every night, I slept next to my best friend.
She had lost her mind entirely if she thought I was letting this slip away again.
I found myself thinking of her while I perused the grocery store, grabbing not only mine and Addison’s favorite snacks, but hers as well. Sour Punch Straws, blueberry bagels, and snack cheese. When I walked to the check stand, the bouquet of flowers stared at me, daring me to get them for her.
Was it too much? We hadn’t agreed we were back together. I was afraid to spook her. Was getting her flowers too forward?
But they were orange and black daisies…
So I walked out of that grocery store with her snacks, a can of her favorite flavor of Redbull, and a bouquet of Halloween color daisies.
Wow, I’ve become so fucking soft.
Didn’t matter. Because when I stepped in the doorway, and she came to help grab the bags from me, and she laid eyes on the arrangement in my hand, her eyes sparkled like I hadn’t seen in so long. She wasn’t even a flower person. She couldn’t keep a plant alive for longer than a week. But seeing the smile playing on her lips, I knew she was swooning back from the gesture.
Smart fucking move, Sebastian.
Our day passed easily, moving through motions fluidly while tossing small smiles at each other. We cooked dinner in the kitchen, singing and dancing to Addie’s favorite movie soundtrack (currently Moana), while she squealed in her high chair and bounced to the tune.
Bathing Addison was back to being a team effort, given she was trying to climb out of the tub every few seconds. I roared out laughing when Mileena slipped and fell on her ass into the water, soaking her sweats. She promptly pulled me in after, ensuring to spread bubbles over the top of my head. Addison watched on in wonder, not even understanding the fireworks exploding right in front of her.
At night, though? That’s when we felt it most. After the baby was asleep, and we had to exist alone together, the awkward silences always fell between us, leaving us to giggle nervously and go about our own business.
It was in those moments I would finally get a second to ask myself, where were we? Where does this leave us? Does she still want me? Was she feeling as elated as I was? Or was this all a temporary arrangement?
She changed into dry clothes, and I was sitting on the edge of the bed, flipping idly though Netflix for something compelling enough to play. She stepped out of the closet, stopping short in front of me.
“So, what are your plans?”
I quirked an eyebrow, eyes still fixed on the TV. “Plans?”
She leaned a hip on the dresser, folding her arms. “Yeah, like, what are you going to do with the rest of the night?”
Shrugging loosely, I set the remote down and looked at her. “I haven’t decided yet. Probably watch a movie.”
Chewing the inside of her cheek, she nodded slowly. “Okay, that sounds nice.”
What a strange conversation. It felt so forced.
“What about you?”
I could see her mind thinking behind her eyes. Words wanted to come out, but she wasn’t letting them. Eventually, she visibly gave up on whatever internal battle she was having.
“Ugh,” She sighed heavily. “I’ll probably just hang out.” And she began moving toward the doorway.
“Hey.” I called after her and she turned her head to look at me. “Want to hang out together?”
Existing together didn’t have to be hard. I watched the TV, catching up on One Piece, while she sat cross legged across the couch, laptop perched on her legs, chewing a Sour Punch Straw. We had been like this for an hour and a half.
The longer we sat here, the more I could feel myself burning to be closer to her. The distance between us just wasn’t working for me right now.
Her eyes were scanning the screen, clearly enthralled in whatever she was reading, as told by the way the corner of her mouth was pinched up in a small grin.
Disregarding the anime, I slid my body over to her, sprawling flat on my stomach and leaning my head near her lap.
“Whatcha reading?” I propped my head on the palm of my hand.
Her eyes flickered to me for a moment, and a sheepish grin crawled over her.
“A blog.”
My eyes tried to wrap to her screen, but failed given the angle. “About what?”
Considering for a moment, she gave me a look painted with mischief.
“About you.”
My eyes popped open. “Me?”
She cackled. “Not the real you.” This only confused me further, my face screwing up trying to figure out what she meant. “You ever had a Tumblr?”
I sat up then, crossing my legs in the same fashion as her. “When I was fifteen, maybe?”
Her giggles were uncontrollable. “Well, it still exists, and Laura asked me recently if I had ever looked to see how much fanfiction was written about you guys.”
My brain clicked into place. “You’re reading fanfiction? About me?”
She leaned back leisurely. “Some of these are very intriguing. I find it wildly entertaining.”
“Like what?”
Leena smirked, scrolling on her screen. “Well, there’s one on here that is crazy popular, about you falling in love with the lead singer of another band. I’m only four chapters in, but it’s actually really good.” She clicked on a link, a GIF of myself when my hair was long and pulled up in a claw clip popped up on the screen. “And this is one of the more tame ones.”
This piqued my interest. “Oh? How bad does it get?”
I watched as she slipped a little further into her hoodie, mildly embarrassed.
“I may or may not have found a large amount of smut written about you.”
My eyes bulged then, and my hands snatched the laptop off of her.
“No fucking way!”
I began scrolling, but her hands were grabbing at the laptop. She was shrieking at me to give it back while stopping to laugh. “Don’t Noah! You can’t read your own fanfiction! That’s some kind of crime against physics or something!”
I chuckled, lifting the computer out of her reach while she clawed at me.
“Why? Because it would break some kind of dimensional third wall?”
She continued her efforts while I chuckled at her.
“That or it’s extremely humiliating!”
“Worth it.”
She began climbing over me in her attempts to reach the laptop, which had me laughing even harder.
“Don’t drop my computer or I’ll kill you!” She growled at me. The threat resembled something you’d see in a cartoon, given how much smaller she was than me.
Still, somewhere inside me, I didn’t exactly doubt it.
“Only if you read me some of the dirty stuff.”
Her mouth fell open and eyes bugged out. “Excuse me?”
Lowering my brows, I brought the laptop closer to her reach. “Read me some smut about me.”
Her hand finally grabbed the edge of the computer, pulling it away as she fell back on her ass on the couch.
“Absolutely not.”
I made a show of pouting my lip out, and gave her my best rendition of sad puppy eyes.
“Please? I’m so fucking curious.”
She waved me off. “You’ve got a computer, read it yourself!”
I then narrowed my eyes and licked my lip. “That’s not as fun.”
She scoffed, sitting back, and smiled precariously. "Not happening, perv."
I rolled my eyes. "You are so boring."
Her tongue darted out between her lips and she scrunched up her nose to mock me. I took the opportunity to catch her off guard, tackling her around the midsection back onto the couch. This caused a small squeak out of her, and her hand quickly shelved the laptop on the coffee table. I sat up on my knees, straddling her waist, and stared down at her menacingly.
"You should know better than to make fun of me."
She pointed a finger while looking up at me. "You called me boring!"
Smirking, I lifted both hands, mimicking claws. "Now, say sorry for being a brat."
Her mouth fell open in disbelief. "I'm the brat? You're the one getting mad because I won't do what you want."
Without warning, my hands came down to grab at her sides, squeezing and tickling mercilessly while she shrieked, squirming underneath me.
"Noah! Stop it!"
My tongue caught between my teeth, I continued my attack, hitting all the right spots. "Nope. Not until you say sorry."
Breathlessly, she tried to speak. "I'm- fuck!" Her back arched off of the couch, pressing hard against my crotch, as she did all she could to get away from me. "I'm sorry!"
My hands stilled, and I squeezed her hips tightly. "Thank you, princess."
She caught her breath, chest rising and falling while she stared up at me, eyelids crested.
Just like that, the air was thick. It came screaming back to my attention that we hadn't touched each other, or even been this close, since the night we fucked after dinner, in this very spot. By the look I saw sparkling behind her eyes, she was realizing the very same thing.
My fingers still pressed into her sides, I lowered my face to reach her, pressing my nose into the side of her neck and nuzzling gently. I heard the slightest giggle escape her, and I let my hands wander up her sides. Laying myself down beside her, I let my lips begin dropping soft kisses on the skin just behind her ear. My arm, now laid across her stomach, felt the hard breath she exhaled.
Her hand fell on my arm, fingers gripping me and pulling me tighter against her.
Mileena turned her face to look into my eyes, and gave me the smallest smile I may have ever seen. My chest swelled, and I pulled her toward me, pressing my lips against hers gently. She reciprocated the kiss, lazily rolling to her side and tucking herself comfortably against me.
How long we stayed this way, limbs entwined and mouths connected, I'll never know. I only knew that it was so warm, and so sweet to have her hard pressed into my soul, and not preparing to run at any given moment.
Once we finally broke apart, I truly believe that we both were so comfortable, and so content, that we ended up dozing off wrapped around each other.
-
"Noah?" I could barely hear her voice over the spray of the shower.
"Yes?" I'm certain my words were muffled, as I was scrubbing soap over my face.
We had woken up, stiff and backs sore, about twenty minutes ago, still on the couch. The only way to loosen my muscles was with a boiling hot shower, so I allowed myself while Leena brewed the morning coffee and we waited for Addison to wake up.
"We need to talk."
The words struck a cord so deep inside me that I felt every bone in my body crack ever so slightly. My hands halted on my skin, and the water poured off of me. Thirty full seconds of silence followed, so I finally responded.
"About?"
"Us."
Fuck. She was going to run. She'd become so God damn flighty.
I turned the water off, despite that I still hadn't washed my hair, and swung the curtain open to see her standing, arms crossed, staring at me with deep brown eyes mimicking a doe crossing a highway. She looked me up and down, maybe lingering a fraction of a second longer on my cock.
I grabbed the towel from the rack, and waved a hand at her. "Okay, what do we need to talk about?"
Blinking a few times, she stepped back to give me room to climb out of the shower.
"Well," She cleared her throat. "I've been thinking," I could see the nerves radiating off of her in waves. "we need to decide what we're doing."
I cocked an eyebrow at her after shaking my hair out. "We do?"
This drug a sigh out of her. "Yes? We can't live in limbo forever."
"Define 'limbo', because I thought it was pretty clear." I was taking a chance with my choice of words, but I was going to run with it.
"Clear? I'm kind of living here again, we had sex, we made out for like half an hour last night, but..." She trailed off while following me to the closet.
"But...?"
I disappeared into the open closet. "But," She paused, and I imagined that she was making her frustrated face. "we never resolved anything."
"What do we need to resolve?" I pulled my Henley over my head. "I thought we both made a solid effort to grow from the whole thing."
"Okay, but the original issue-"
I cut her off as I popped out of the closet. "Was Rachel. And she's obviously been dealt with." I pointed to her. "You made sure of that." I smirked, and I saw a slow blush creep up her neck.
"Rachel wasn't the issue. Or the whole issue." She was sitting on the dresser now.
"Alright, so let's talk about it." I dropped down on the edge of the bed, and put my palms up in the air, opening the floor.
She leaned back against the wall, hands folded in her lap, and looked down to the floor. "If we get back together, I don't know how to do this." She shrugged. "The touring, the being alone, all of the girls. It's a lot, Noah."
I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees, chin on my hands.
"I feel like I could lose you at a moment's notice. What if you meet someone out there on the road? Someone better? That won't be sitting at home tying you down?"
I just shook my head. "Mileena, I don't want anyone else. Or anything else. You, Addie, and Angel. That's it for me. I don't need anything else."
"I know you say that, and when you do, I believe you. My mind just wanders when I'm at home. It starts with the thoughts, small and ridiculous. But then they grow. You forget to call, or I see a video of you talking to a girl. Then my mind goes wild, and I just don't know how to deal with it. It's maddening." She scrubbed her hands over her face. "It makes me feel insane."
"Hmm," I perused this. My brain was racing, trying to figure out what I could do to reassure her. "I offered to quit."
Her eyes popped open. "No. Absolutely not. I wouldn't allow it."
"Why not?"
"Because, Noah. As much as I love being with you, and would kill to have you all to myself all of the time, I love you too much to see you quit the one thing that makes you that kind of happy." She stared at me, no ounce of falter on her face. "You were meant to do this, and I refuse to let you stop because of me."
Well, hard to argue that.
"Okay, so what is it that bothers you most? What is your worst case scenario?"
Leena looked positively defeated when she spoke, which caused a thin fracture to run through my heart.
"That you won't love me anymore. Won't want to come home to me. That I'll lose you."
"And what can I do? What will show you that it's just not fucking possible?" I begged.
"I don't know. I don't think anything can."
How did we get here? We were so unified. A solid, strong, bulletproof team that could take on anything. And without much effort on either part, we had shattered like glass. We were broken. Our love had fragmented, and even if we tried to keep it together, I just couldn't get the fucking pieces to stick.
Unless...
I jumped off of the bed, the idea sparking through me as a bolt of lightning. It startled her, and she gave me a concerned look.
"I've got to go somewhere." I grabbed my shoes from their place next to the bed.
"What?" I could see the look in her eyes, as if I just swept the rug from under her.
I stopped as I began to brush past her, dropping a hand on her shoulder.
"I'll only be gone a little bit. Back by dinner, I promise."
Her mouth fell open. "Noah, I didn't mean to-"
I clapped a hand over her mouth, forcing her to stop.
"Shhh, nope. Stop. Not right now. I promise, we will finish this conversation, just not right now. Not today."
Releasing her mouth, I bounded out of the room, and trotted down the stairs.
"Wait!" I looked back up at her, at the top of the banister. "The bounce house will be here in an hour!"
"Have them put it in the backyard."
She rolled her eyes. "My Dad's flight gets in at 7."
"And I will be there to pick him up."
She growled. "Where are you going?"
I threw a wink at her before slipping out of the front door.
"You really think this is going to work?" Nick's voice was skeptical, to say the least, as we walked through the mall. "Leena's not one for gifts, you know."
My hands were in my pockets, my nerves making me rip at the cuticles. "Dude, it fucking has to." I chewed my bottom lip. "Where the fuck is this place?!"
"Relax, dude. It's at the very back of the mall." He walked comfortably next to me. "How did this come up, anyway?"
"Dude, I can't get into it or I may fucking pussy out. Let's just go over the plan again?"
He rolled his eyes. "Laura and I will get to the party twenty-minutes late so Mileena is pissed and distracted. I'll have the 'gift' in the car." He quoted himself. "I'll discreetly go grab it during presents. And after cake, you'll give it to her."
I nodded. "What if she hates it?"
He shook his head, laughing to himself. "I don't know, but if she starts flipping out? I am gone."
-
A two-year old's birthday party is a weird setting on it's own, let alone on a day like today. Sun shining, slightly chilly, light breeze. Weird day. Scary day. Potentially earth-shattering day.
Attempts to avoid Mileena's interrogations last night after I got home were only successful due to her Dad being there and keeping her distracted. He didn't know what the plan was. No one did. I was going to catch her so far off-guard, I had hoped it would be just fucking good enough to get her to not lose her shit.
It was a risk.
But what's life without a little risk?
"Happy birthday to you!" Everyone in the room chanted as Mileena walked through the dining room, cake lit with two individual blue candles on the cake holding Bluey's face on top.
"Happy birthday dear Addison." I stood to stand behind her, hand on the small of her back, watching the subtle tears pool at the corner of her eyes.
"Happy birthday to you!" Addie was absolutely enamored, eyes wide and two teeth shining brightly in the glow of the flames.
Leena and I both bent down on either side of where she sat in her highchair, and blew out the candles, earning a round of applause from the large crowd gathered in my home, all here to celebrate this sweet little life we had created.
Once the lights came back up, I couldn't tear my eyes away from her face while she cut the cake, and placed a thick slice on Addie's high chair. We all watched her smush the cake with her hands, shoveling it into her mouth, as we enjoyed our own pieces.
Folios took it upon himself to pull her out of the chair, and take her in to the bathroom to clean her up. Mileena followed to assist.
I stood, nearly trembling now, watching as various children and a few adults bounced in the inflatable house in front of me, taking up most of my backyard. My mind was being pulled in so many different directions. What if she hated it? What if she screamed? What if she ran away? What if I fucked up, again?
A hand clapped the back of my shoulder, pulling me from my thoughts.
"Hey, man." Jolly stood next to me, beer in hand, smiling proudly. "Our girl is two now, hard to believe."
I smiled, baring all of my teeth. "Right? Getting too big, too fast."
He nodded, pulling from the bottle. "You good? You seem a little shaky."
"Yeah," I shrugged, trying to even my breathing. "just thinking."
"Not second thoughts, I hope?" Jolly bumped me with his elbow.
"Not exactly. I can't return it. I just..." I trailed off.
"What, man? What are you so worried about?"
I sighed. "I don't know, dude. What if it doesn't work? What if she leaves again?"
Jolly shook his head firmly. "No. She won't."
My head fell back, frustrated. "You don't know that. You don't know her like I do."
Another gulp of his beer down. "I don't, but I know you."
I looked over at him, raising an eyebrow.
"Man, no two people look at each other the way you guys do. No man feels guilty for just thinking about another woman the way you did. No woman is willing to sacrifice her own happiness for someone else's the way she was." He glanced back over his shoulder at where she had emerged, setting Addison free to go back in the bounce house.
She looked like heaven. Black plain short-sleeved t-shirt. High-waisted white pleated skirt. Long raven hair falling loosely over her shoulders with just the lightest wave to it. No makeup. Chocolate brown eyes shining in what was left of the sunlight.
That was mine. I needed it. I needed it forever.
"The way you're looking at her now." I was brought back to the conversation with Jolly. "That there?" He pointed with his index finger that held the bottle. "That's it for you, man. Don't second guess yourself."
That was it. That was all I needed.
My feet were pulling me toward her, purpose pushing me every step over the grass. She was sitting in a chair, leaning forward to hear what Laura was telling her from where she sat across the table. She was smiling. Fuck, I'm so weak when she's smiling.
I can do this. I can fucking do this.
"Hey, Noah!" Laura's voice brought Mileena's attention to me, craning her neck to stare, a smile still gracing her lips.
"Hey, you okay?"
I gave Laura a small wave, and looked at Leena. "Yeah, why?"
She smirked, turning her body fully toward me. "You look like you're about to be sick."
I was. Absolutely was going to vomit.
"I'm good, I just need to, uh" I scratched the back of my head, which made her raise an eyebrow. "I wanted to..."
I couldn't look at her, which made her suspicious.
"Noah?"
"Huh?" I finally returned her gaze.
"What's going on?"
Closing my eyes for a second, I took a slow, deep breath, and righted myself.
I can fucking do this.
"Can we talk?" I reached a hand for her, which she took, and I caught the shadow of the look that crossed Laura's face. She had made me, I knew she had, but she wouldn't say it out loud.
Leena stood, following as I led her to the middle of the yard, away from too many prying ears, but still within eyesight of the party.
"What's up?" She was confused, and that was okay.
By this time, we had caught the attention of most partygoers, who I could see whispering amongst themselves and watching. I also noticed the music on the Bluetooth had stopped, no doubt to hear what was happening. Nosey fuckers.
I turned so she could face me, back to everyone else.
"I told you that we would finish our conversation from yesterday morning."
She scoffed. "Now? Shouldn't we wait until everyone leaves?"
I shook my head. "No, because if I wait any longer I might actually explode."
Her head cocked slightly to the side, confused. "I'm not following."
"I know. You're not supposed to. I'm bad at keeping secrets, so it's kind of crazy I managed over twenty-four hours without you figuring it out." I smiled a small, hesitant grin.
"What?"
"Mileena, you said that you were afraid that one day, I wouldn't love you anymore? That I won't want to come home to you, and you'll lose me, right? You remember?" My words were spilling over each other, and she was struggling to keep up.
"Yes...?" She was so hesitant. My stomach flipped backwards. What if it didn't work?
"And when I asked what I could do to show you that wasn't possible, you said you didn't know?"
She just nodded. I grabbed her hands.
"Well," I inhaled a big breath. "I don't know either."
Her eyes twitched slightly, like she was waiting on a startle that never came.
"You don't?"
"I don't." I let one hand go, reaching into my sweatshirt pocket. "But," I ran my fingers over the cube, velvet over the pad of my thumb, before I removed it from it's hiding place. "I've got an idea of where to start."
Her eyes darted down to my hand, and the shock blazed over her face.
"What the fuck is that?"
I wasn't going to let it deter me. We've come too far. I sunk down, as traditional as ever.
"Mileena," My hands presented it to her, cracking it at the hinge, the black, coffin-shaped onyx perched on the rose gold band, encrusted with crystals, on full display to her. "it's not that I can't live without you."
"Holy fuck..." Her mouth hung open, eyes glued to the ring in my hands.
"I have just come to learn that I don't fucking want to."
"Noah," The tears began to form. "what are you doing?"
"I'm making it official. No more questions. No more limbo."
She only responded with a small, breathless, squeak.
"Mileena Jane Richards, will you marry me?"
Silence can be so loud sometimes, but here? In that moment? The entire world was without a single, utter sound.
I stared at her, it was all I could do, as I watched the gears turn. Process what I had just asked. And every passing millisecond, I was sure my heart would explode.
"Yes."
And if you're there, to catch me when I fall, then maybe hell ain't so bad after all.
The End
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